Democrats Attempting 4-D Chess?

Now this might shock you, but I’ve nooticed Democrats don’t like Donald Trump.

No, wait, hear me out.

These people really hate the guy.

I’m not even joking.

In fact, I think it’s even worse than that. I think they see him as nothing less than an existential threat to the very fabric of our democracy and the future of all freedom and kittens!

“Choose the form of the destructor.”

But it’s not just the man that poses the greatest threat to humanity. As Insider points out (over the grueling span of 3,700 words), “The Conservatives” are establishing a movement to change the very nature of the country, literally from the ground up.

Guess who they fear will take the reins of that runaway carriage?

“Free Stay Puft Marshmallows for everyone!”

Even with Trump out of office, the threat of him packing the House and Senate with loyal candidates looms. The risks to the Democrats can’t be understated: This isn’t just about him potentially gaining another foot back in the proverbial presidential door, it may herald the possibly of something far, far worse…

Of course, this means the Democrats have to fight at every turn, putting all of their money into people on the right side of 1/6, or at the very least, ensure the success of their own party’s candidates.

Anything else would be uncivilize—

Well, shit.

Apparently, the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) took Democrat donations and put them towards a Republican.

Damn, he must be a pretty stand-up guy who definitely is on the right side of—

“Also, like a Democrat, he gets real quiet when you mention Black Israelites…”

I…wait, what?

Why the hell would they do that?

Ooooh, I get it. They invested in this guy because they think he’ll be easier to defeat. That’s just how politics work, don’tcha know?

So, they think so little of their own candidate’s success, they’re willing to risk an apostle of Satan for just the chance of getting their own in, while the alternative was a moderate Republican who sided with them on impeaching Trump?

Still, this may just be a gambit, but if it fails, at least it’s just one candidate. It’s not like they’d be donating to Republicans in genera—

--but I mean—

--but that’s not really the same—

--please stop. Please just—

*sigh*

…

Now this might shock you, but I’ve nooticed Democrats are either corrupt as hell or the dumbest people alive.

No, wait, hear me out…